


Smoke On The Horizon

by AuroraShard



Series: Smoke On The Horizon [1]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst, Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Compliant, Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Spoilers, Canonical Character Death, Character Death, Grief/Mourning, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Natasha deserved better, characters offering each other support, smoking cw, the character's death is canon compliant and not on-screen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-10
Updated: 2020-03-10
Packaged: 2021-03-01 03:53:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 532
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23098876
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AuroraShard/pseuds/AuroraShard
Summary: Clint falls back on old coping mechanisms after the events of Endgame. Pepper joins him. A short fic about dealing with grief.CWs: Death, grief, smoking.
Series: Smoke On The Horizon [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1698946
Comments: 5
Kudos: 13





	Smoke On The Horizon

Clint leans against the railing of the porch, peeling paint and rough wood pressed against his arms. The spring peepers chorus as he lights his cigarette, and they are unbothered by the click and catch of his lighter, by his shaky exhale. He hasn't smoked in years, but the muscle memory takes over; a long drag, an exhale, tapping off the ash over the railing. 

He first smoked when he joined the circus, thought he would die right then and there from the hand-rolled cigarette one of the animal trainers offered him. Barney took it from him and then never seemed to be without a lighter and a pack. 

The others would pass him one sometimes, after that, and occasionally he would take a drag. But more often than not he'd "forget" about it, let it burn down. They didn't want him wasting smokes, so they never bothered to offer him one unless he asked.

He smoked after Budapest, bummed a smoke off one of the tech guys. He smoked after a lot of the rough missions, the ones where half of the seats on transport were empty, but the holds were full. Only sometimes did it help.

He hadn't smoked since he and Laura had the kids, he didn't want them to see. Alone without them he had tried again, hoping it would ease the ache in his chest. It only made it worse.

With them back and Natasha gone, well. He'd wait until the pain got to be too much to bear, then sneak out to the back porch to smoke under the moonlight. Laura knew but didn't stop him, but he didn't plan on letting it become a habit, as Barney had. 

He inhaled and exhaled, breathing out puffs of smoke. He watched them wind their way up to enshroud the moths and insects around the dim porch light, and then drift off towards the moon. In still moments like this he dreamed of her coming back, appearing out of the dark to steal the cigarette from his fingers, to snuff it out under her boot. 

But she didn't appear, even as his tears fell and he choked back a sob. He put out the cigarette, dropping it into the small bucket of sand on the corner, where it had been since he was a kid. 

He watched the moths and the mosquitoes through the porch screens, flapping and spinning. He turned when the screen door opened, frowning slightly as Pepper emerged. She waved him off and he smiled.

She leaned next to him, smiling over at him softly. He sniffled, wiping his eyes. They had all done their share of crying lately. She pressed her hand over his, giving his hand a gentle squeeze before turning back to look out over the farm. 

He tapped out another cigarette, reflexively offering it to her. She smiled ruefully and took it, lighting it from his offered lighter. She took a drag and passed it back to him, shaking her head when he motioned with it back to her. 

Together they watched the smoke drift off skyward, serenaded by the frogs and insects, and the hum of the universe continuing on.

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by a conversation with Alternative_approachtochronology. Don't smoke, friends. Thanks for reading! <3


End file.
